Are You In A Codependent Relationship?
What is a codependent relationship? It’s a relationship in which partners are so dependent on one another for different reasons that it leads to an unhealthy path in the relationship. Often, one partner becomes very clingy and feels they can’t live without the other. The other partner might feel the same way or they could be using the clingy partner to fulfill other needs. At the end of the day, codependent partners have a hard time separating from one another and usually end up mentally hurting themselves or each other. This is a form of a toxic relationship.
When phone dating, people are after love. They do need something, which is why they’ve called the chat line in the first place. Maybe they feel alone, crave romance, or desire connection. While that is all acceptable and normal, it can be taken too far. Daters can become desperate and romanticize the relationship. They can begin to consider their phone dates with another person the most fulfilling part of their day. Inevitably, this would eventually lead to a codependent relationship.
So how do you stop it before it starts, or recognize that you are in a codependent relationship with someone you’ve met on a phone date? There are some telltale signs to look out for so that you can keep yourself in check and maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship with someone.
4 Signs of codependency:
- Your partner becomes your identity: Perhaps the most overt sign of codependency is when your partner becomes your identity. Your thoughts revolve around the next time you’ll get a chance to speak with them over the phone. Phone dating is meant to become an addition to your life. It’s not there to control your life and dictate your personality. If you begin to feel that a chat line date has become your purpose or your partner is the only thing that fulfills you, it’s a sign of codependency.
- Your time with your partner is the most valuable time of your day: It’s ok to look forward to your chat line date and to develop feelings. When the sparks are flying and you get that butterfly feeling, it’s natural to get excited over when you’ll get to spend time with your new partner. However, it shouldn’t be the highlight of your day or week. If it happens occasionally, that’s alright. But if your day or week is meaningless without a conversation with your partner, it shows that you are putting all your value into that relationship.
- Your relationship lacks boundaries: Codependent people feel that they need time with the other person to feel happy. They lose a sense of self when they are without the person they depend on. For that reason, they lack boundaries. They call at inappropriate times, expect things that partners can’t deliver, and throw themselves into the lives of their partners in a way that’s inappropriate.
- Your friendships begin to crumble: When someone enters a codependent relationship, their friendships and familial relationships begin to crumble because all the value is placed on the relationship with the partner. For instance, if you blow off your friends or family for a phone date, you might be experiencing this. It also applies to responsibilities. Codependent people will often neglect work or tasks to spend time with a partner.
If these signs are familiar to you, you might need to take a look at your chat line relationship to determine if it is healthy. Set boundaries for your partner and yourself. It doesn’t mean that the relationship needs to end or that you can’t give your partner a call. It simply means that you should stop the unhealthy habits before it gets too far.